The Opposite of Friend
by Libek
Summary: Kanda and Lenalee, growing up together. What they are, what they aren't, what they can't be. Kanda/Lenalee.


Kanda Yu had never wanted friends. Not since he had joined the Order. Not since his first mission with an older, more experienced Exorcist. Not since he'd had to watch that older, more experienced Exorcist die trying to save a little girl in a ruined town, because for one split second he'd forgotten that cute little girls clutching worn teddy bears can be demons, too.

No, Kanda Yu had never wanted friends. So he had done his best to be the least likable Exorcist the Order had ever seen. He was cold, and silent, rarely speaking except for on missions, and doing his best to work alone so that he could avoid even that ugly necessity. Above all, he was _not_ friendly, and so the only people who were friendly _to_ him were all people who were, for one reason or another, seemingly immune to the coldest of his cold shoulders. Namely, his master the General, some of his master's other disciples, and a few scattered others.

Girls never really entered into the equation at all, because there were few female Finders, and fewer female Exorcists, but Kanda wouldn't have said they were any different, except that he was, perhaps, less overtly rude to them. Brusque, certainly, but not quite rude. It helped that, since most of the women he interacted with for any reason were civilians he hardly knew, they were less likely to get him killed, as long as he never turned his back on them.

Then, he turned fifteen.

It wasn't something that happened overnight, and to this day Kanda still doesn't quite understand what changed in that critical year -- he grew five centimeters, and his voice finally settled, but it was nothing _dramatic_, nothing that hadn't been happening gradually for more than two years already -- but shortly after that fateful birthday, he began to notice something bizarre.

Girls seemed to like him.

Girls seemed to like him a _lot_.

Whenever he had to stay the night in a foreign city, chasing after reports of Innocence, invariably some female would suddenly sit down at his table, or fall into step beside him on the street and strike up a stammering conversation.

The first twenty he pulled Mugen on, because they were complete strangers approaching a man in an Exorcist's uniform, and usually that meant demon.

The next forty he only eyed suspiciously.

When it started happening among the new Finders, too, Kanda decided to mention the problem to the only girl he really knew. (Was she a friend, despite his lack of participation in the relationship?) The idea was that, being a member of the fairer sex herself, perhaps Lenalee would have some keen personal insight to share -- or at least a suggestion as to what he could do to end this strange conspiracy.

She didn't.

She seemed to think it was _funny_, and _natural_, and something he should have _expected_.

"You cut a pretty dashing figure, Kanda," she told him, once she'd stopped giggling. "A handsome swordsman dressed all in black? You're quiet, but that only makes you seem more _mysterious_. It's like something out of a fairy tale. You can't blame a young girl for getting excited."

There were any number of problems were her assessment -- such as the fact that many of the women who had tried to offer him lodging for the night with unsettlingly-bright eyes were much too old to be called _young girls_ -- but then she pointed a soft little smile at him, and Kanda decided it wasn't really worth arguing. Instead, he just rolled his eyes and stormed away from her, before she could notice the heat he felt in his face.

"Oh, come on," Lenalee called after him, and he could _hear_ her smile. "You're popular! Enjoy it!"

Kanda just stormed away from her more quickly.

She didn't understand. Just because _some_ men -- the apprentice Bookman, certainly -- would have liked the attention, she expected him to.

But how could anyone have enjoyed this? Their insipid giggling, their simpering smiles, their complete invasion of his personal space, and the way they all seemed to adore him without having the slightest idea who he was--

No. It _was_ a problem, and a problem that needed solving.

Just, clearly a problem he would need to solve on his own.

Kanda Yu had never been any friendlier to women than he had been to men, but before he'd turned fifteen, he _had_ been less overtly rude. And once he was back in his own room, far from Lenalee's unsettlingly-soft expression (she had called him _handsome_), Kanda decided that, if he wanted them to leave him alone, he would have to fix that.

He would have to make sure that no female could mistake his cold unpleasantness for _mystery_.

And over the next three years, Kanda learned how to do just that. He learned to shove past hopeful-looking girls in the streets, and pretend not to hear the husky, coaxing voice in the bar. He learned how to brush off the new Finders and ignore their hurt expressions. And he learned how to do it all without ever taking his hand off Mugen's hilt, just in case.

Because even when a girl was on the verge of tears, confused and miserable, you still couldn't be sure there wasn't a demon lurking just beneath her skin.

It worked, of course. Sometimes a girl still seemed to like him for no reason, but only if she didn't know him, and never for very long.

Unless there was a language barrier. There were new transfers this month from the East Asia branch, Russian girls who barely spoke any English and knew even less Japanese, and while Kanda couldn't understand what they whispered when he pushed through their throng to get to his accustomed seat in the dining hall, he knew that turning colors and giggling excitedly was not their way of complaining about his attitude problem.

He couldn't even stop them from calling him by his first name, and he had really, really tried to make that clear.

Lenalee settled down across from him, and smiled that same soft smile. "There's no point in being mean to them when they can't understand you," she pointed out.

"There's no point in being _nice_ to them, either," Kanda retorted, and dug into his soba as noisily as he could.

She giggled.

He rolled his eyes at her, but somehow, when she did it, giggling didn't seem quite so insipid.

Lenalee probably thought he was doing all he could to drive her away.

Kanda Yu knew he could have been trying harder.


End file.
